[PDF] E.L. James Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian. CHRISTIAN GREY exercises control in all things; his world is neat, disciplined, BOOKS BY E L JAMES Fifty Shades of Grey Fifty Shades Darker Fifty Shades I follow her over the edge as I climax into her and lose all time and perspective. Keep in mind this is retelling 50 shades, just a different perspective! If you're not in the mood for Grey, there are the novelette options like Dark Petals by Deidre.
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By E. L. James,Read PDF Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian By . while reading Grey: Christian's perspective should have been. Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey As Told by Christian, also referred to as Grey, is a erotic romance by British author E. L. James. It is the fourth. Where can I download 'Darker', as told by Christian, in a PDF format? Download fifty shades darker book together with other fifty shades of grey book in place.
After I read this book and then I read a few reviews about this book, I do not wish to write a review. I just want to point out three things: 1. If you don't like the first book in the series and give a rating of 1 star, you don't have to read the second book in the series. Not much will change. So, obviously you will give 1 star again. And if you don't like the second book in the series, you really After I read this book and then I read a few reviews about this book, I do not wish to write a review. And if you don't like the second book in the series, you really don't have to read the third book in the series.
The door is very dirty. It has spots all over it. I reach for the handle. There is noise inside. Mommy is crying. Is she hurt? The man is here. Im not supposed to go in when the man is in there. I slowly open the door. I peek inside. Mommy is bent over the small bed. Shes holding onto the metal bar. Shes naked. The bad man is behind mommy. He has no shirt, but he has pants on.
I only see his back. Hes pushing mommy. I own you! If I want pussy, I get pussy, you whore! The kids in the apartment, please!
Oh, Im the kid. Mommy, I say scared. Im hungry Mommy cries harder. Jesus Christ! Please, let me go! My kid she says her voice scared and small. He yanks his unbuckled belt off his pants very fast and hits mommy with it. Mommy cries out. Hes so angry. He turns back to me and his pee-pee is hanging out.
I run to the kitchen. There is no place to hide.
I hide under the sink. He finds me. My little hands are shaking. I cover my face with my hands. Maybe he wont see me. But he always does. He grabs my elbow and pulls me out of the cabinet.
My arm scratches. I hit my head under the counter. Im scared to cry. He hits me harder if I cry. If I make no sound maybe he wont make me bleed. You cost me my fun you little shit! He pulls me and turns me over. He pulls my shorts down, and hits and hits and hits me. It hurts. I cry out. Mommy it hurts! Help me mommy!
He remembers his belt in mommys room. He gets up, and drags me by my arm to mommys room. He tosses me on the bed. He takes the belt and starts hitting me. I scream. It hurts a lot! Mommy curls up on the floor. When I scream she cries more.
But mommy doesnt come to stop him. She just cries louder in the bedroom. He drops me to the floor. He holds his big foot up. Then he kicks me.
I roll on the floor. Finally the wall stops me. I silently cry. I cover my mouth to stop the noise.
The bitch and her fucking bastard! He turns his back. I hear his footsteps leaving. Im scared to look. Is he gone? Im hurt. My head is bleeding a little. Mommy slowly crawls. She grabs the old shirt from the floor. She puts it on. Mommys hands are shaking. She doesnt look at me. She crawls to the bathroom. I keep watching mommy still silently crying. She comes back out of the bathroom.
Mommys eyes are big, red, and scared. She is holding a small bottle. Mommy wont look at me. She goes to the kitchen. I slowly follow her. She turns the faucet on. Then she fills the dirty cup with water.
She comes to sit on the couch still shaking. Tears are coming from her eyes, but she makes no sound. Just tears. Mommy opens the bottle.
She shakes it. She looks at it. She looks at me with her sad eyes. She cries a little more. She doesnt smile. She holds the bottle up to her mouth. Pours it. She drinks the water. Im hungry too mommy, I think to myself. But I wont say it. Mommy is sad. She lies on the couch. Come here Christian, she says. I walk to her. Lay down next to mommy, mommy says. I climb on the sofa. I lay down next to her. She holds me. Im hungry. But mommy is holding me.
Its better shes holding me. Mommys eyes cries more. She still makes no sound. She kisses the top of my head. Goodbye Christian, she says. Mommy is tired. Shes going to sleep.
Goodnight mommy, I say. We are going to sleep. I push mommy. Its dark outside. Mommy, Im still hungry, I say. But she wont wake up. There is the small bottle next to her. She ate from it today. And there is no lid on it. I pick it up. Something rattles inside. A toy? Its small. Something to eat! Im too hungry! I drop the small food from the bottle onto my hand. Its not round. Maybe I can eat it. Its mommys food, but maybe mommy wont mind. Im so very hungry. I put it in my mouth and chew it.
It tastes bad, its bitter. I spit it out. Im thirsty! But, mommy is too tired and she wont move. I walk on the sticky green rug. I go to the kitchen. I push the chair to the sink. I am thirsty and my mouth is hot. There is a dirty cup in the sink. It is sticky and has brown spots in it. I pour water from the faucet and drink it. I go back to sleep with mommy. Maybe she will feed me when she wakes up. Mommy is cold. I have my blankie.
I cover her. I put my head on mommy arm. My tummy hurts mommy I cry. Im too hungry. My tears fall onto mommys shirt. Can I have something to eat when you wake up mommy? Please mommy. I cry and cry, but mommy doesnt hear me. I bolt upright in bed waking up with the sound of my own cries. I look around. Its dark, but the light from the city of Seattle is seeping from my floor to ceiling windows.
I see the Space Needle in the distance with the city lights in the backdrop. My nightmares are back. I get up from the bed. My side table now houses the Blahnik L23 model glider. I worked till later hours to build it.
My hands caress over it. A gift from my first love. The first love I fucked up royally yesterday into a breakup! How did we get from nearly making love over the piano to break up in a matter of couple hours? She hates me The thought of it hitches my breath bringing another choking sound to my throat.
I look at the note she left me again. Fucking tears betray me. They brim my eyes, threatening to fall. Backs of my hands fly to my eyes as if to hold the tears back. I roughly rub them willing them to go back down I really fucked up! There is a gaping hole in my soul; something gnawing at me inside. What is that pain I have never experienced? Its is as if part of me died. Not some other being, or another person, but as if I died. I eye the clock. I can go over to Anastasias and beg her forgiveness.
How do I live with this pain? Im being clawed from inside out like a ferocious lion is caged in me and feeding on my heart!
What Promethean misery Im going through! Like my fucking heart grows all over again for that torturous lion to devour and consume, feasting on it, one painful bite at a time! Ive lost my purpose in life You love her, you fucking, worthless bastard!
Of all the people to fall in love, you fall in love with an angel and drag her right into your personal hell! I play the scene in my head over and over again. Shame is heavy on me. I have taken pleasure in her pain. It turned me on! God, forgive me! Of course she hates meshe asked me to hit her to please me, but she couldnt take it.
Am I not better off being with someone with no emotions, no attachments, and just fucking? Like Pre-Anastasia times? Is she not better off without me? Im nothing but destruction for her, and Kate said it herself She cries all the time since she met you! So, she was happy before she met me. I have seen a glimpse of that happiness when we were in Georgia, soaring It was a happy time. If I give her space, some other fucker will slide in my place immediately.
I cant take that! I would simply die, or I kill the fucker! Either way, Id be destroying us both Isnt love giving everything without expecting anything back in return? Id give my life to Anastasia without thinking.
If she needs my heart, Id cut it out myself without thinking! But knowing that shes with someone else would destroy me. Every fiber in my being tells me Im bad for her. Shed be miserable with me. But, I want herback. Shes mine, and mine alone! Im a fucking selfish man.
Ill do whatever it takes to get her back. Ill be whatever she wants me to be. Anastasia loves me. It sinks into my head now and Ive been so scared when she told me. When she actually told me when shes awake and conscious. Ive fallen in love with you Christian! Her declaration plays in my head over and over again. Ill do anything to get her back and keep her happy. How could I turn my back when I full well know that she loves me, and I her?
Whats keeping us apart other than my fuck ups? Flynn said that its once in a lifetime to find someone you love and who loves you back with the same intensity. Once in a lifetime! And Im not about to screw that! Why then did I acquiesce with her request being hit? Why didnt she safeword? I swear to God, when I get her back, Im not putting her in my Playroom again even if she begged me. Im vibrating with anger at myself!
I should not have let her talk me into spanking her with the belt! I behaved stupidly! I get up from the bed with determination, and take my key to the Playroom. I open the door, and turn my head to the lined up belts and whips and punishment items. I hoist them off the wall one by one. I gather them in my arm like a pile of firewood. I walk back to the living room, and pile them into the huge fireplace.
Jones isnt going to like cleaning this up, but I need to burn this shitcleanse a piece of my soul with fire Either I burn myself, or I burn these! Everything I do hurt her! I wantno I need to make her happy. My fucking world is collapsing around me. She didnt want me to touch her. Oh, God! I'm miserable She hates my touch now!
How can I get over that? The fire in the fireplace first licks the belts, whips, and flogs; then liking the taste of them engulfs the leather punishment tools like a hungry monster.
I watch them burn, completely detached. With it, I burn part of my past. Offering part of my dark soul in a burnt offering. After fire consumes part of my past sins, I slowly walk to my study. Since Anastasia left me yesterday, pain became my constant companion. The likes of which I have not experienced before. I close my door when I walk into my office. I fire up my laptop. I want to write her my declaration of love, but it will scare her away knowing how fucked up I am, and I will end up hurting her more.
I find myself googling my name under the images. I go down the pages, and finally find the picture of me and Anastasia taken on her graduation.
I save it. I look at the picture of her. How such a short time ago it was taken, and how she captured me body and soul. That was the day she agreed to be with me though in such a different context than I am now willing to go. What have you done to me Ana? Im a broken man without you. How you became my lifeline. I have to do something.
Its not in me to just sit and do nothing while Im broken, my girlfriend is broken, and were broken apart. Im meaningless without her, but some fucker will make the attempt to get into her life which will be end of his and mine! I go to my room to take a quick shower. The shower has too many memories of Anastasia for me to linger in it too long without hurting myself physically and emotionally. Im at my final limits already.
I cant take too much more. I routinely wash my hair, soap my body, and purposefully rinse off and come out. My chest is still sore and red, but I welcome the pain.
Its the only real thing that reminds me that Anastasia was part of my life. I get out of the shower and dry myself, and put my sweats on, and my running shoes. When I walk back to the living room, I see Mrs. Jones working in the kitchen. She eyes me warily, seeing my improved demeanor compared to yesterday, she asks, Would you like to have your breakfast now Mr. Thank you Mrs. Omelet okay sir? And fruit please, I respond. My reply makes her look up and give me a genuine smile.
Of course, sir, she replies in her professional tone. She hands me my coffee. My breakfast is before me within a few minutes. I eat it automatically, not out of want or need, but out of habit. Taylor walks into the living room and takes his usual place by the entry. I turn my head, and with my nod he walks towards me. His eyes are unyielding, not giving anything away.
Nothing about me falling apart in his and Mrs. Jones' presence. Taylor, Im going to go for a run. Ill suit up sir, he responds. No, not necessary. Im just going to run to Dr. Flynns office, he lifts one eyebrow slightly. But then his face goes back to his usual demeanor as if he tugged the edges of a wrinkled sheet. Nothing out of the ordinary, and everything serene, and calm on his face. Would you like me to pick you up after sir?
I need time to be alone. But, I need something else from you. Anything sir, he says enthusiastically as if normalcy returning to our lives. I need you to keep an eye on Miss Steele. You said she didnt look I stop there to hide the breaking in my voice, well, she wasnt well yesterday given the circumstances.
Taylor nods, his eyes harden, his jaw tightens, and he swallows as if hes trying to pass a boulder through his esophagus. Thats all the response he can manage. Anastasia got to us all, and even Taylor is fond of her. I suspect hes mad at me, but he wont show it. I want you to check and see how much money shes got in her account. Since she left her Blackberry here, track her old phone. Being as distraught as she was, I say, and knowing shes closed up, and her roommate is away, I dont want any harm to come to her, I want to ensure her safety.
Taylor nods. Knowing how stubborn she is, she may decide against depositing the money. I will deal with that when it comes to that point. I dismiss Taylor, and collecting Anas laptop, Blackberry and car keys, I walk back to my study. I have to show that I can fight for you Anastasia! I pick my Blackberry up, and dial Dr. He answers after the third ring, groggy with sleep. I say unable to hide the distress in my voice. That one word wakes him up completely.
Whats wrong? Anastasia left me yesterday, and I think Im dying! Lets talk. What happened? I dont wanna talk on the phone. He pauses, one second, he says and asks his wife something in a muffled voice. Then he comes back up, okay, see you in 20! I hang up. I run to Dr.
Flynns office. The pain when Anastasia left me yesterday was a shock to my body. It came with such a force that it jolted me out of my physical body. Today, Im settled back in my body, and Im experiencing the pain with every single sting, hurt, and agony.
When I come to Johns office, hes not there yet. I pace back and forth in front of the door. If the stone was carpet, Id have worn out a trail on it. John makes it to his office three minutes late, takes in the condition of my face.
I notice he has his jeans and t-shirt on. Its Sunday, and this is an emergency call. As soon as he opens the door, I walk in. Do come in Christian, he says in a semi-mocking voice, but I feel the smile behind it. I head directly into his office. John walks back to his leather chair, indicating me to sit at the sofa. I sit, but I get up, restless.
He eyes me. Christian, I think John, Im in purgatory! Unable to find the right word, he settles for, do tell. I pace the room, and stop right before him. Anastasia was with me last night. I was so excited, and completely relieved to see her after she got back from Georgia. In fact, the whole shit with Leila has kept me preoccupied, and I wasnt operating on all pistons I start pacing again exasperated, I get back to the sofa, exhausted.
I was ready to make concessions for her, John. But, one thing led to another, and she rolled her eyes at me, and I would spank her for it. She knew that. And she made a game out of it. I started chasing her playfully and she finally said that she feels the same way about being punished as I feel about being touched! This revelation was horrifying for me I say and get back up to pacing. How did that make you feel?
I have to check on the Shrink manual if this question is the first thing they teach them. But, when I turn to look at him with exasperation, I notice that he actually is leaning over and totally engrossed in what Im saying, as if to say then what happened? Whatever I end up revealing to him, he always manages to keep the Ive heard it all, demeanor. This is different. This is something he hasnt heard before. It knocked the breath out of me, and I disgusted myself! But then Anastasia said, its not quite as bad as I felt She said she was ambivalent about it.
She just doesnt like to be punished, but if its for fun, she doesnt mind. She said it depended on the context I give out a deep sigh. John makes an impatient sign gesturing with his right hand with the pen as if to say go on. But then she said, show me. I didnt want to do it at first! It's like saying 'here's your favorite cocktail! Show me how much you love it! I asked her repeatedly if this is what she wanted. And, I groan raising my head heavenward as if howling, I finally gave in, and I spanked her with a belt six times.
She didnt stop me, she didnt safeword, and once it was over, she didnt want to do anything with me! I say sagging like a defeated man. Defeated by life, defeated by love. Do you really think she hates you, or is it that particular aspect, that particular need you have that she hates? She looked at me with loathsome eyes, and it would have been better if she hit me, shot me, stabbed me, even killed me I cant get it out of my head!
She looked broken. Ive broken her. I went after her, but I think if she had the strength she would have pushed me. I spent the rest of the dawn holding her, asking her forgiveness, and praying that she would stop hating me. But what she revealed later was worse than hate I say sagging even further. What did she reveal? Flynn asked with eyebrows shooting up as if this the climax of 'Best of Freud' the miniseries, his voice an octave higher, realizing he cleared his throat and gestured with his hand.
She said shes fallen in love with me, I say with a small voice, completely undeserving of her regard. Why do you feel undeserving of her love? John asks genuinely. Look at it John!
I make her miserable with what I want to do to her. I do want to punish, but, I think that changed. I will stay away from anything that would drive her away from me. I burned all the belts, and whips and floggers this morning in the fireplace! I could have knocked Dr. Flynn with a feather; he just sagged back into his seat looking at me agape. You did what?
I burned them, and burn part of my past with it. Im ready to sort my shit out for Ana. Speechless is not a word that I could associate Dr. He always has a professional opinion, or has his shrink quips. He stares at me for a long moment and finally speaks. Christian, Anastasia achieved more progress in you in the course of in the last few weeks, than I did in the last two years!
Look where I am now. Ive screwed it up royally! I used to think of her like the Rock of Gibraltar, invincible, you know But Im too damn tainted! I destroyed her! I took her love, and almost shoved it to her face. I got scared John! Im undeserving of her love!
I look up as Im spiraling down again. I sag back down, onto the floor this time. Flynn as he shoots up to his feet. Tell me how to fix this John! I plead with him on the floor, looking up, a broken man. I want her back. Im ready to do whatever it takes to make it work Flynn slowly walks out of his seat. He walks around and grabs one of the pillows and casually tosses it onto the floor.
I cant see you on the floor Are you asking me this as your friend, or as your shrink? He shifts. As you know, Im both for you, he says. I look up. I need both, John I reply. Well then, he says, how about we begin with finding more comfortable seating? I too work out, but it appears, its not as often as you do. Shall I sit back in my own seat, while you occupy the couch, Christian?
I really am not good at yoga squats, he says wincing. A small smile creeps on my face, but disappears before reaching my eyes. I scoots myself back to the sofa, and locating it with my hands I rise up and sit back on it.
Flynn feels a little better with that concession. He gets up, and picks the pillow up from the floor, and goes back to his seat. John looks at me intently. Im asking this question as your shrink and your friend now, and Ive asked this question before: What are you willing to give up for her? What are you willing to do? Whatever it takes! Its not specific, Christian. Im asking again: What are your concessions? You better get all your ducks in a row if you want to work this out, and you have better be determined to see it through, he says with firm eyes.
Im willing go only vanilla if she so desires. Im willing, hell, Im scared to go near my Playroom Ill give all that shit up if she wants to! No punishment Ill avoid anything that will distance her from me like it's poison!
Now, this is the question. Will you resent her for distancing you from the things youre accustomed, you like, and desire? I want you to think this one hard Christian! Because if youre solely doing this to get her back, you will destroy not only what you could have with her, but perhaps Anastasia as well In order for this relationship to work, you truly must be a changed man.
This is your chance of achieving a personal metamorphosis, from an adolescent to an adult, emotionally. I look up at John. I died a thousand times since she left me! I feel like there is a gaping hole in my chest.
I look at him pleading. What you say Im accustomed, like and desire I realized They meant nothing anymore. So, youre concerned that all of a sudden, Id drop Anastasia and go for that shit in my past?
Maybe I deserve that scrutiny. Will that need be gone? Maybe not. But I sure as hell will learn to take the temptation out of my way. I look at my hands, then fix my gaze on the table lamp. It helps to look at the light if you force yourself not to cry. Ive mastered that. But, my emotional cup is overflowing, my levees are broken. I violently rub my eyes, so they dont betray me here.
Take a deep breath, Grey! I tell myself. So, youre asking me, what entails anything? Heres my answer: Its exactly just that; anything and everything. Because, Im in love with her John! I love her more than my own life!
She is my life.. Shes my fucking soul. Ive come alive with her. I forget what a piece a shit I am when shes around me.
Ill do anything to protect her, take care of her, love her, and Ill compromise any way and shape she wants me to. But she wont believe me. Or will his dark sexual desires, his compulsion to control, and the self-loathing that fills his soul drive this girl away and destroy the fragile hope she offers him?
This book is intended for mature audiences. Christian Grey ejerce control sobre todo. Intenta olvidarla, pero se ve inmerso en una tormenta de emociones que no puede comprender y no puede resistir. After twenty-five years working in TV, E L James decided to pursue her childhood dream, and set out to write stories that readers would fall in love with. Paperback 3 —. download the Audiobook Download: Apple Audible downpour eMusic audiobooks. Also in Fifty Shades of Grey Series.
Also by E L James. About E L James After twenty-five years working in TV, E L James decided to pursue her childhood dream, and set out to write stories that readers would fall in love with. Product Details. Inspired by Your Browsing History. Related Articles. Looking for More Great Reads? Download our Spring Fiction Sampler Now. Download Hi Res. LitFlash The eBooks you want at the lowest prices.