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This article's plot summary may be too long or excessively detailed. Please help improve it by removing unnecessary details and making it more concise. January Learn how and when to remove this template message High school senior Carson Phillips Chris Colfer is randomly struck and killed by lightning and the rest of the film is a flashback of his life. He desires to go to Northwestern University in order to one day become the youngest editor for The New Yorker , but so far is having limited success in making those dreams happen. One day during a writer's club meeting, Malerie Baggs Rebel Wilson comes in to get advice about her short stories. Carson tells her not to give up, and says that she cannot find the ideas, the ideas have to find her. He later goes to a student council meeting run by head cheerleader Claire Matthews Sarah Hyland.
He desires to go to Northwestern University in order to one day become the youngest editor for The New Yorker , but so far is having limited success in making those dreams happen.
One day during a writer's club meeting, Malerie Baggs Rebel Wilson comes in to get advice about her short stories. Carson tells her not to give up, and says that she cannot find the ideas, the ideas have to find her.
He later goes to a student council meeting run by head cheerleader Claire Matthews Sarah Hyland. Claire, as well as everyone in student council, resorts to ignoring him due to his constant objections to their ideas. While Carson's mother Sheryl is picking up several prescriptions, she makes idle small talk with the cheerful new pharmacist April Adams Christina Hendricks , who is six months pregnant.
Carson also visits his grandmother Polly Bergen , the first person who encouraged his writing, but she does not know who he is due to Alzheimer's disease. She tells him her grandson used to be so happy and full of life, but was now his own personal rain cloud.
As Carson is finishing up the school paper late at night, he accidentally catches wealthy student Nicholas Forbes Carter Jenkins and flamboyant drama club president Scott Thomas Graham Rogers making out in a bathroom stall. Nicholas, horrified, begs Carson not to tell anyone since his rich family would disapprove of his homosexuality. Carson agrees on the condition that they will contribute to the paper until they both graduate. April and Carson's father, Neal, visit Neal's lawyer to straighten out some legal issues.
April, who had no knowledge about Carson or Sheryl, storms out when she learns Neal is still legally married, and has a child of which she was unaware.
Carson's guidance counselor Angela Kinsey informs him that one way to improve his chances of getting into Northwestern is to submit a literary magazine in order to show he can inspire others to write. He gets permission to start the magazine from his conservative principal Brad William Henke. He announces at a school assembly that all entries will be taken, but later finds the submission box filled with nothing but trash.
When Malerie suggests that others will eventually join because Carson convinced Scott and Nicholas to write for the school paper, Carson tells her the real reason behind their participation. She in turn reveals that she caught Claire having sex with Coach Walker Charlie Finn , who is also the older brother of her boyfriend, Justin Robbie Amell. Malerie goes on to say how everyone in their school probably has an embarrassing secret that they would not want exposed.
Sheryl has another run-in with April when April recognizes Carson's name on the anti-depressant prescription. She then comes home to Neal and demands to meet his son. During the homecoming parade, Carson is forced to pull the writer's club float himself after the cheerleaders take the car they were assigned. Feeling more humiliated than ever, Carson decides to blackmail several of his peers into writing for the literary magazine. He tricks yearbook president Remy Baker Allie Grant into sending him a dirty picture that could ruin her reputation.
Together, he and Malerie blackmail fellow school paper members Dwayne Matt Prokop for bringing marijuana to school, and goth girl Vicki Ashley Rickards for taking BDSM -style pictures of which her church-going parents would disapprove. Carson additionally discovers that supposed foreign exchange student Emilio Roberto Aguire is from San Diego , knows only rudimentary Spanish , and is using his faux-exotic charm to seduce women.
During a meeting with the other students and Coach Walker, Carson extorts agreements that everyone must offer something to put in the magazine if they want their secrets to stay quiet. She couldnt do this to methis was my last shot at making the literary magazine.
I started pacing, trying to come up with my next move. Too bad, Malerie said. At least we had fun making it.
No, I said, and stopped dead in my tracks. Theyre gonna see this float if it kills me. I stormed off toward the other floats. I found a rope the cheerleaders had tossed aside. Suddenly, a lightbulb appeared over my head like a bad motel vacancy sign. I had an idea! I bet you thought I went on a strangling rampage after that. That was my first idea too, but no, I pursued the second idea instead.
I went back and tied the rope to the front of our float. It could work. It just might work, I thought to myself. From that moment on, my body was running on pure adrenaline. I felt like the Hulk.
The Mark Ruffalo Hulk, not those other guys. Night fellthe game startedfireworks burst in the sky which Im assuming meant we were winning or had entered some kind of war the band warmed. There are moments in life when you think, Oh my God, is this really happening?
Am I actually doing this? Is this how Im going to be remembered for the rest of my life? This was one of those moments, and unfortunately for me, it was very real, I actually did it, and itll probably be how Im remembered for the rest of my life. Picture me, dressed as a fucking pencil, pulling the Writers Club float across the football field by myself. Imagine Malerie, dressed as a giant notepad, operating the giant notebook on top of our float and waving to the crowd.
Visualize the crowd roaring uncontrollably at the cheerleaders passing by but then going dead silent once they noticed us. It was so quiet all you could hear were my grunts and swearing while I was pulling the float.
Writers Club! Malerie enthusiastically shouted and continued waving. A quiet rumble of snickering started, which grew into an eruption of giggling, which then evolved into an explosion of laughter. Everyonethe parents, the.
I screamed at them, and finished pulling the float off the field. I was sweating profusely, my face was as red as Mars, my hands were bleeding from the rope, and my body had become so stiff I could barely walk. I ripped off my pencil costume, got in my car, and bolted out of the student parking lot. I didnt even use my blinker.
I must have driven a hundred miles an hour all the way home. That sounds really fast, but the speedometer is broken, so I was really only doing like sixty or seventy. I got home, went into my bedroom, and collapsed on my bed. The snide remarks from my peers, the discouraging comments from everyone else, and my own thoughts of doubt were on constant replay in my mind.
Im sorry, but homecoming is nothing without the cheerleading float!
No one reads the Chronicle anyway. The art classes use it to papier-mch things. I thought of the student council. I thought of the Chronicle. I thought of Ms. Sharpton and Mom. I thought of Grandma and Malerie. Youre young and nave. All those dreamsstill seem reachable.
The i is an imaginary number. There was no way I could make the literary magazine work now. I had done everything I possibly could. Except one thingThere was one thing I hadnt tried yet. Nixon is so crooked he has to screw his boots on in the morning! Everyone has something to hide! Before I could even think the idea through, I grabbed my cell phone and called Malerie.
Malerie, its Carson, I said. Operation Clovergate is in effect. It was decided before I even picked up the phone. Im done being patient. Im done being nice. Im done letting them walk all over me. Come Monday morning, I will get my literary submissions, even if I have to blackmail the entire school.
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