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The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star. " By: Nikki Sixx. Epub Download For Pc, Bookshop, Ebook Reader, Pdf Free. The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star - FTP . [PDF] Download The Heroin Diaries Ten Year Anniversary Edition A Year in the Life. heroin diaries - Free download as Word Doc .doc /.docx), PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read online for free.
All rights reserved. Used by permission. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. Visit us on the World Wide Web: www. I knew Nikki reminded me a died at twenty-seven, he had died; we were got that far in the first place.
At this point Nikki has been addicted to heroin and cocaine for a while. His band, Motley Cre, are starting to record a new album and going on tour in the upcoming year. Because of this, he decides to write in a diary to remember what he did the day before.
Being high, drunk, and strung out is a common occurrence for Nikki and it has greatly affected his memory. To know exactly what is going through his head while on a substance as precarious as heroin is a humbling experience. Nikki could not go a day without heroin, or most other mind-altering substances either.
Being an international superstar, money was never an issue. He would spend roughly three thousand dollars a day on heroin and cocaine without blinking an eye. Nikki was living the rock star life to the fullest. With both the diary entries and personal commentary, he paints the full picture of what it is like to absolutely need heroin. He explains one time when he was in the studio with his. At the time, the band members of Motley Cre understood the debilitating person Nikki was and the sickness that consumed him.
Nikki couldnt waste another second without taking a hit and knowing the backlash he would receive if he were to pull out a needle during rehearsal, he rushed to the bathroom. Entering a stall with a beer bottle cap, he pulled out his small balloon full of heroin and placed a portion of it in the bottle cap. He then used the toilet water to boil the substance and proceeded to inject it into his arm.
The fact that he would use dirty toilet water to shoot up is incredible and really shows how desperate his addiction makes him.
The casts of characters that chime in on the commentary throughout the book are amazing. People like Vince Neil, Slash, Lemmy, and other band members along with family, friends, and old girlfriends all offer insight into Nikkis antics at the time. This offers the outside perspective of Nikkis addiction. Slashs comments are the most interesting. Slash is, himself, an addict and he is like Nikkis sidekick. He would often participate in all the poison that Nikki provided and on some occasions would outshine Nikki.
Slash would urinate in all the beds of famous celebrity mansions in Van Nuys and would experience major night terrors where he would shriek at deafening volumes whenever he was strung out. It is fascinating to. Slash has even credited The Heroin Diaries as inspiration for writing his own book. The book culminates in a series of events that would make anyone cringe. Towards the end of , nothing really has changed for Nikki. Addiction still rules his life and as any heroin addict knows, hospital visits are as frequent as a trip to the gas station to fill up the car.
Heroin addicts often take more than what is safely recommended and consequently overdose. World On a typical night for Nikki, he goes out and spends roughly one thousand dollars on heroin and decides to share it with Slash and a couple groupies they met at a show.
Subsequently, Nikki overdosed and collapsed. Slash, being strung out himself, was of no use and the only savior Nikki had was his girlfriend who rushed in at the 11th hour and called the ambulance. Moments later, Nikki was pronounced dead. Miraculously, he was brought back to life through CPR. Reaching the climatic end of the diary, it feels as if you have gone through hell and back. At first the glamour and glitz of Hollywood entrance you, but quickly you realize this dream has become a nightmare.
Addiction is a disease that can lead to death and nothing portrays that more than Nikkis story. Nikki is one of the lucky ones. Not everyone comes back from the dead.
As I finished the book and read of Nikkis new lease on life and optimistic outlook, I was shocked to read in the Afterword portion of the book that Nikki has relapsed many times after coming back from the dead.
This had a profound affect on me as I couldnt believe that his disease wasnt gone. I later realized that it is a constant fight and reading Nikkis. Medline Plus. Sixx, Nikki and Ian Gittins. The Heroin Diaries. New York: MTV Books, Slash and Anthony Bozza. Harper Collins, World, Drug Free.
Foundations For a Drug Free World. Flag for inappropriate content. Related titles. I lean toward Tom. Addiction is a serious illness. There is a genetic link. I get my shopping addiction from my father. I become quite delusional when it comes to how much money I have in my bank account when I'm spending. I won't divulge my financial history, just know it's precarious. I'm glad Nikki got help. I truly hope he can stay sober.
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Nov 26, Straw rated it it was ok. I only give this 2 stars for having funny little details about Vanity and GnR. This is not only a study in decadence but also a study in misogyny and white privilege. Isn't Nikki a n- - - - -? Why can't he say that word? I feel like ranting Your life is so freaking hard Really I don't know how you resisted a ne I only give this 2 stars for having funny little details about Vanity and GnR.
Really I don't know how you resisted a needle at infancy. At anyrate, this is so white boy ART scene I could vomit It is Dudley if he got famous. View all 22 comments. Apr 12, Kelly rated it did not like it Shelves: My own personal hell dimension consists of Dawson Leery's crying face covering every surface while the audio of this book plays on a loop.
No lie nor hyperbole, this is the most misogynistic, self-indulgent, whiny, piece of exaggerated material I have ever read. We all have crappy parents and even crappier childhoods. Normal is an illusion. And as My own personal hell dimension consists of Dawson Leery's crying face covering every surface while the audio of this book plays on a loop.
And as far as Nikki's childhood Know who had a messed up childhood? Joan Crawford's daughter, any female in the middle east, and every second child conceived in China. I refuse to believe Nikki kept an accurate, well-documented diary during his relevant years.
Who over the age of 9 starts every passage with, "Dear Diary NO ONE!!! To feign shock over the lifestyle of a rock 'n' roller is ridiculous.
THAT'S why you become a rockstar!! Writing a memoir read: Just sayin The absurd coloring of the pages made me ill, rather than make my inner "glam rocker" an oxymoron, by the way fist pump in solidarity. View all 6 comments. The Heroin Diaries are his personal diary entries the year leading up to this day.
I thought I was going to explode. I'm glad I have you to talk to, to write this down I tried to keep it all together, but then I gave in to the mad 'Welcome to my nightmare. I tried to keep it all together, but then I gave in to the madness and became one with my insanity Fascinating, in that he's still alive today.
December 23, was not his only encounter with death and certainly didn't prevent him from staying away from drugs completely afterwards but it set in motion the changes he undergoes to get his life under control. This was a brutally honest depiction of the life of an addict, and I applaud him for having the strength to put this out there for all to see.
I loved the various pictures, illustrations, and especially the current statements from people that are still living that were witnesses to the events that took place. Not what I would consider an 'easy read' but is definitely worth your time. Jun 10, Liz rated it did not like it Shelves: Where to start with this work of fiction To start with Nikki Sixx is a massive D-Bag. Alarm bells should have rung in my head when he tells the reader that if this book helps one person who is as messed up on junk as he was then releasing this book was all worth it????!!
Are you shitting me? For such a heavy and serious subject matter the tone of the book is light hearted and the voice is almost an amused roll of the eyes 'rock stars boys will be rock star boys" No people; drugs fuck up peoples lives and the lives around them, it KILLS people, it's not cool.
And its wrong for someone whom over people look up to god knows why to pretend to be telling a cautionary tale about drugs and the excesses and emotional turbulence that can lead to drug abuse, when in fact they are really glorifying drugs abuse because lets be honest all the cool party hard people take loads of drugs, all the cool famous people you look up to take drugs and really you just haven't partied hard unless you have a drug problem, sure you may 'die' a couple times Nikki, people's organs don't shut down, then miraculously start up again, good story but, no but that's just an awesome story to tell people later on about how fucking hardcore you were back in the day!
And man, fuck rehab, rehabs for pussies! I have no doubt that Nikki Sixx was 'strung out' for most of his 'career', but the idea that he was still able to keep a diary throughout the whole process is complete bullshit, but I was able to humour this concept for half of the book until he wrote the lines apparently on tour in How stupid do you think I am!? How offensive can this douche be, its not bad enough you're selling people this work of fiction as a real diary and glorifying your drug abuse and pretending to be helping other lost addicts; but with that line you are laughing in the readers face, my face!!!
So at that stage I closed the 'book', which thank god I didn't pay for and wiped my arse with it not really because it's on an e-reader and I have plenty of softer toilet paper Screw you Nikki, you didn't get shit from me! To be honest, it was getting tiresome anyway. It was was getting very repetitive, the story arc goes something like this "i shot up, I snorted, name drop, name drop, poor me, poor wealthy white man in a band me, shot up, debased some poor girls who's daddy didnt love them enough or molested them, poor me, all this fame and money is hell, shot up, drank, music, i love tommy, tommy, tommy, I knew slash before he was famous, I was the band, if it wasn't for my band there would have been no 's, poor me, hate women, hate women, my band was better than everybody else's band, poor fucking me" This guy is just boring and so damn arrogant, which is crazy because honestly does anyone over the age of 45 outside of America remember this band or this guy?
And he writes the worst lyrics All Nikki Sixx proves is that it must have been so easy to be in a hit band in the 80's; 'big hair? Congratulations you've got yourself a 's platinum glam band! Only read this book if you are a fanatic fan who is a delusional as Nikki Sixx, but seriously there are more interesting delusional 'rock star' books out there; Donovan's and Anthony Kiedis's book come to mind.
View all 5 comments. Jan 10, Lisa rated it really liked it. Let me say, I give Nikki Sixx a lot of credit for doing this as well as those who commented in the book. This took a very strong person to look back and read these entries; acknowledge the person he was; and actively ask those who were close to him often participants in madcap antics during this dark time to comment on him.
Very in your face what else would a diary of a rock star be? Admittedly, this gets a bit whiney at times again, this is the diary of someone who is in a very deep depression and is self-medicating with heroin, coke, and anything else that shows up just so he doesn't have to deal with his own emotions. The ending, at times, borders on preachy but I have to say, he makes some good insights here.
He really opens the velvet curtain and welcomes everyone into a rock star's life. I find it interesting that Mr. Sixx elected to publish one of the most successful years of his life career wise.
Those who were Motley fans yup, I was. I attended one of the Philadelphia concerts he mentions in the book would remember this year and how the media portrayed Nikki and the rest of the Crue. What went on only skims the surface of complex persons.
The media did what they always do, present a characterization of the famous. Jan 19, Beth rated it liked it. A better title would have been a "Year in the Life of a self-absorbed, drug-addled, whining rockstar.
Nikki Sixx has some decent writing chops, but so much of the book is taken up with the same defeatist, whining, self-hatred that by the fifth or sixth month of it, you find yourself skipping over the boring entries. One of the book's saving grace s is its format - the addition of "after the fact" notes from a variety of people makes the stories so much more interesting.
Hea A better title would have been a "Year in the Life of a self-absorbed, drug-addled, whining rockstar. Hearing how Tommy Lee remembered the same thing that Nikki wrote about while being high, for example, gives you a really shocking look into the delusion of today's addicts. Borrow this one; don't download it. I really enjoyed this. Yes, he's egotistical but honest. I liked that he takes responsibility for his life and addiction and some of the crazy things he writes are funny as hell.
Recommended, even if you're not a Crue fan. It's just a fun memoir of a terrible addiction. View all 8 comments. Aug 31, Bill rated it it was amazing Shelves: I can't remember what brought me there, but shortly after the great Philip Seymour Hoffman died I listened to a podcast of Nikki Sixx's radio show where so eloquently described addiction and depression. It's here: This was a dissertation that was worthy of any psychological study.
And the reason for this, is he has lived this and is still living it. The story behind The Heroin Diaries is that while Motley Crue were on top of the world, on tour in , Nikki I can't remember what brought me there, but shortly after the great Philip Seymour Hoffman died I listened to a podcast of Nikki Sixx's radio show where so eloquently described addiction and depression. The story behind The Heroin Diaries is that while Motley Crue were on top of the world, on tour in , Nikki was at the height of his cocaine and heroin addiction.
It peaked on December 23, when he was brought back from the dead after an overdose. Being the creative artist he was the guy pretty much wrote the entire Motley catalog , he kept a daily diary through this year, be it in a notebook or on scraps of paper. Many years later, he discovered these entries in a box and published them in this book. Interspersed throughout are anecdotal accounts by him, the band, and others to fill in the gaps.
Kudos to him for doing this. These are not proud moments and for a guy to lay himself bare like this is commendable. I have all the time in the world for a guy like this, and I know that what he is doing now with his radio show, and with this book, he just may save some young lives. The Heroin Diaries is also a look behind the scenes at a band at the top and on the road. There are some funny entries for sure his hatred of Whitesnake, for one thing , some nice things how they treated upstarts Guns N Roses , and the decadence you know to expect from Motley Crue.
Sep 25, Jp rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: This was an absolutely fascinating book. Obviously, I am a big fan, particularly of Nikki's songwriting from the beginning to present so I've anxiously waited for the release of this book for several years. I am also a recovering addict and this was truly compelling, touching, at times rather raw but honest, and I simply could not stop reading. I knew the basic story but didn't know the brutal details.
I found myself feeling lost and alone as I read the pages of this journal, knowing just w This was an absolutely fascinating book. I found myself feeling lost and alone as I read the pages of this journal, knowing just what he may have felt at times. It comes down to a common theme with so many that have walked this path, whether to this extreme or perhaps might be looking at a similar decline or even knowing of those who unfortunately didn't make it I found it quite revealing to learn that even while at the height of fame, someone could feel so incredibly alone in this world and that many of us carry wounds with us until we are ready to let them go.
They get heavier and tougher to carry through the years and thank God Nikki Sixx was finally able to let go and let God take care of his so that he could begin to heal from the inside. Feb 27, Julie Zantopoulos rated it really liked it Shelves: I read this forever ago and remember being horrified and intrigued all at once. I remember being thankful that I never got into drugs and that Nikki got his shit together because damn do I love Motley Crue.
I picked his up at a Crue fan and then was thrown into 80s drugs addiction and a hardcore life. Nikki's writing style is actually pretty damn amazing and this novel compiled of his old diary entries is a seriously raw like nothing held back look at addiction, excess, self harm, and a downwa I read this forever ago and remember being horrified and intrigued all at once. Nikki's writing style is actually pretty damn amazing and this novel compiled of his old diary entries is a seriously raw like nothing held back look at addiction, excess, self harm, and a downward spiral that breaks your heart and makes you gag.
Well, that and hope I'm glad this isn't my reality but looking into the mind of an addict, as a total psychology nerd, is always interesting to me. This book will legit haunt you though I never want to get that dark, go that deep Nikki Sixx's heroin addiction is touched on but not fully explored in The Dirt, but this puts his downward spiral on full-display.
With Nikki narrating his own diary 4. With Nikki narrating his own diary entries, this played out exceptionally well, coming from him, it feels so real, raw and completely compelling. Do you have to love Motley Crue to get into this, no, but it probably helps? I don't necessarily love the Crue, but I really like them, I've seen them in concert even It's crazy to see how rampant cocaine and heroin were back then, especially when you're famous and so many people think you can do no wrong.
This edition that I listened to is a Tenth Anniversary edition with a forward and afterward from Nikki Sixx about how releasing this book has affected him, all very interesting If that's true then this book is completely worthwhile.
I enjoyed reading the Motley Crue autobiography "The Dirt" so very much that I was interested in reading the individual band members' tomes. I started with my favorite Motley Crue member, Nikki Sixx. Nikki is an extremely intelligent man and you will realize this after savoring his well-written diary entries.
He was the most forthright and generous Crue member for literal contributions in "The Dirt", so I expected nothing less from his diary. This was the year he was strung out on heroin an I enjoyed reading the Motley Crue autobiography "The Dirt" so very much that I was interested in reading the individual band members' tomes.
This was the year he was strung out on heroin and overdosed on two occasions. The book's artwork is sometimes hard to look at: His diary entries are in the print of a portable typewriter.
I devoured the book during two sick days I spent at home. The knowledge that Nikki is long-recovered and successful today makes it bearable to read the depressing status of his life while addicted to drugs. You will read about a young rock star in a beautiful mansion who spends a lot of his time unwashed, naked, hiding in a closet which contains his drug supplies and brandishing a gun because he thinks people are coming after him.
You will also read about the effect his unstable childhood had on his adult life. Both sensitive, creative, and cast off to be raised by other family members while the real mother establishes a household with another man. Meanwhile, the fathers disappear also leaving these children feeling unwanted and somewhat ashamed at the different family structure compared to other kids.
As they grow older, they are driven by their art and the chips on their shoulders and get involved with drugs. They are successful, but it doesn't necessarily make them happy because their foundation in life has affected them so much.
Both men eventually made peace with pasts, swore off drugs, became loving parents and finally reached a sound maturity. When I got to the end of Nikki's book when he was finally "clean" , I loved reading about all the good things that happened to him.
Twenty years clean, Nikki discovered these diaries in storage and decided to share them in his usual generous fashion to provide an example to kids of what not to do. Hopefully, if kids or even adults thinking of dabbling with drugs read Nikki's diary it will have a sobering effect. A portion of the proceeds from this book funds Nikki's charity "Children Running in the Night" which partners with Covenant House.
Jun 02, Laura rated it really liked it. What a ride. Although I loved Motley Crue back in the day, I was young and had no idea the life they led as rock stars. Sex, drugs, Rock and roll was the theme back then but I never knew the depths of the darkness it led Nikki too. One of the last paragraphs that I loved You know, it's pretty easy reading this book to see why I was angry and confused for all those years.
I lived my life being told different stories: Children are born in What a ride. Children are born innocent. At birth we are very much like a new hard drive - no viruses, no bad information, no crap that's been downloaded into it yet. It's what we feed into that hard drive, or in my case "head drive" that starts the corruption of the files. Apr 21, Karen rated it it was amazing Shelves: I decided to read this book after listening to my husband's cd The Heroin Diaries soundtrack by Sixx A.
I immediately loved it! The lyrics were full of hope and the music was fantastic. Now I'm a total fan and have bought more cd's by Six A. There is no sugar coating. Many entries of this diary sickened me. I felt sad when Nikki kept hitting rock bottom, but hopeful when he at least recognized that his life was on a destructive path and that he needed to change it.
He's so lucky to be alive. Here's what Alice Cooper had to say about him: People like me, Bowie and Elton John were professional abusers but Nikki went further than us - he used needles, which we never dared to do. When Jim died at twenty-seven, we weren't shocked because he had died; we were shocked that he had got that far in the first place.
I loved reading what she had to say in retrospect to her relationship to Nikki and about her transformation into a born-again Chrtistian. Nikki would always comment about how every time Vanity got high, she would start talking about God.
God was definitely tugging at her heart and succeeded in capturing her. She became a evangelist. She said this: None of my relationships, including with Nikki, were capable of finding any kind of love or happiness because I would never look at the root of my problem, which undoubtedly was me.
I was very messed up and it was time to change or die. We paint the outside of our bodies beautiful but the inside is like dead men's bones. The hurt topples on top of itself until our hurt gets so big and ugly, growing like a cancer worm, webbing around the walls of our heart, which ultimately turns cold and callous and dull of love.
We mistake lust for love and pop more pills, slam more drugs, drink ourselves silly or end us, as I did, scraping the inside of a pipe just to hit the resin and flush life down a toilet. Personally, I hated every second of being alive in this collapsible body. I wanted a new body inside. I wanted to remove my mind all together - especially the part that hurt.
Jesus did that for me. This diary, while sad, was full of hope and change. Forgiveness and new beginnings.
Not only did Vanity's life change for the better, Nikki's did as well. After all, once you hit rock bottom, and don't die, you can only go up from there. Here's what Nikki had to say on December 25, Today for the first time ever I don't care about the outcome or the whys and whens.
I just want to live. I woke up happy. I can't believe it. I didn't wake up with my head screaming and my instincts telling me to run and hide inside a needle or inside a coffin, whichever came first.. I want to live and I don't know why.
I knew something had happened to me but I wasn't ready to look into it. What I had experienced was, I believe, something spiritual. Drugs have brought me to my knees and I knew it. Even though it would take a few attempts I was going to get off drugs. I had been given another chance to live and I was going to grab Life by the back of its neck and shake the hell out of it. Oct 18, Ed rated it it was amazing Shelves: This was really good.
I was so glad when it arrived in the mail, I opened the package and I had this beautiful glossy-paged thing in my hands.
This book just looks good. Then you actually get down and read it. This book shows Nikki's diary excepts from Christmas Day to the same day a year later. I'm sure the name makes it obvious that a lot of this book focuses on drugs.
In fact, pretty much all of it does. It's easy to see just how meaningful this book could be to other addicts. I'm not an This was really good. I'm not an addict, and yet what I found scary was that if that had been me, I'd probably have found myself in the same position as Nikki did.
Although I'd probably die long before I reached the of my life. It's easy to forget you're reading about a rockstar in one of the world's biggest rock bands, traveling the world, meeting millions of fans etc.